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Have you read the book The Four Agreements? The Four Agreements by Ruiz are mighty guidelines we can take advantage of to live our lives, cultivate our bonds with others, and enhance our joy and wellbeing.

Below are Ruiz's The Four Agreements.

The First Agreement: Always be Impeccable With Your Word.

This should mean staying away from rumors, lies, blank assurances and other means we create harm with our speech. Convey only what you mean, and take into account that you can trigger injury if you're not conscientious with each word you convey.

This is a very good prescription. A great number of people don't recognize the power of their remarks and see the problem that can be brought about with saying words recklessly, mindlessly or forcefully. The majority of us are conscious that screaming at somebody may be uncomfortable to them, but subtle little digs at them, or rumor at their backs, can damage other individuals more than we realize, and in distressing them, we harm ourselves.

The Second Agreement: Don't Take Anything Personally.

This 'agreement' is concerned with figuring out how other people's conducts are a mirror of themselves only. Each time someone gives us opinions about us, it's helpful to bear in mind that no feedbacks are really objective; all of us carry our biases, 'filters' through which we look at the entire world, and the like. Because of this, we should not take anyone else's view of us or our actions as totally right; every time a person tells a certain thing about us (or anything else), they're really saying a thing about themselves and how they see the world.

This is fantastic guideline for making us feel much better, but take it with a grain of salt. Even though each and every one has their biases and there is no such thing as full objectivity, by never taking a thing personally, people can really limit their capability to recognize their own unhealthy patterns and biased views, and work on creating more healthy patterns and clear-sighted views.

The Third Agreement: Don't Make Assumptions.

A large amount of stress is created when people assume they can read what other people are thinking without verifying with them. Recognizing that other folks might have separate motivations for their actions, even considerably varying world perceptions, and remembering to really try to understand other people and talk over these motivations before leaping to conclusions concerning their behavior, can go a long way toward steering clear of interpersonal conflict.

But nonetheless, taking this guide to an extreme may cause people to dismiss their intuition on people, or common sense regarding a person's behavior that's damaging. It can also open people up to manipulation if they instruct themselves to believe a person's explanation of unhealthy behavior instead of judging the behavior on its own. (For instance, not 'assuming' they're being cheated on if their lover is demonstrating erratic behavior and the classic hints of infidelity, but vehemently denies wrongdoing.) This one is a helpful suggestion, but should be tempered by inner wisdom and common sense.

The Fourth Agreement: Always Do Your Best.

In this, Ruiz implies to offer the best you can at any given situation, and you'll have no regrets. On certain days, your best isn't as great as other days, and that is all right. Provided that you put honest input into life, you won't have a thing to be ashamed of, and will never 'beat yourself up' over a less-than-stellar performance in retrospect.

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