The cell is on its fourth ring. It might be your mother, or your best friend. Or it might be him, the man who boxed you into conversation at that party on Friday night. Was he nice? Absolutely! Were you drawn to him? No.
So clarify this, after you hid another yawn, he said, "I'd love to see you again. Can I take your number?" Every single bone in your body whimpered, "Me? You? No, no!" but you said, "Oh, er, okay. My number is..." So here you sit, glaring at the telephone, a prisoner of your own dating life.
That said, faced with rejection, a lot of men prefer a neatly packaged white lie to blunt reality. But is not that deception? Who benefits when you tell a man you don't find him appealing? You don't want to say it and he definitely does not want to hear it.
So what do guys need to hear, if not yes? "I have a boyfriend," takes top marks in the lie department. "When a lady tells me she has a boyfriend I think, 'Well, if she wasn't attached she'd jump at the opportunity,'" says Louis, 26, a solicitor. But what if the person in question knows you are single?
Try, "I'm sorry, I'm just so extremely busy." However, do not elaborate with something like, "I need to get home to watch the paint peel." He may volley back with, "Well, that shouldn't take too long. Let's meet for coffee later."
You could also make it your personal policy, never ever give out your phone number. If a man asks, respond politely with, "I'm sorry; I just do not give out my telephone number." If he continues, say, "Why don't I take your telephone number?" You're saying you'll take it. You are not saying you'll use it.
Above all, the key to brushing off a person nicely is just that - to be nice. "I'm busy" can sound either sincere or agitated, based on your tone and expression. The following suggestions will definitely help you:
-First, look relaxed, even if you are stunned. Smile and make eye contact.
-Second, keep your own voice calm and say something similar to, "Thanks, I'm flattered, but I'm just too busy."Don't speak too quickly or you will look awkward.
-Third, respond using a downward inflection at the ending of your sentence, while you're making eye contact. A dip in your voice when you say the word "busy" connotes authority and also lets him know you mean it. Your smile, however, shows him you mean it in a no-hard-feelings approach.
Then, politely suggest 100 free chat and dating sites to him. He may not listen to a word you say, but it is worth a try. Or you can try date online chat rooms yourself. Try to date guys that are your type by browsing the web.
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